| You
must master your joystick, as a fisherman masters bait
|
| Those
who know do not say, those who say do not know |
| The
road to success is always under construction |
| I'm
looking forward to regretting this |
| 'Pessimist'
is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees
the world for what it really is |
| Alcohol
releases the inner retard in all of us... |
| Bad
Spellers Untie! |
| A
good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge
|
| Me
breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity |
| Work
harder: People on welfare depend on you |
| Be
back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking
to the vet's office |
| We
came, we saw, we drank beer |
| Geniuses
are never understood in their own lifetimes |
| You
can trust the government, just ask the Indians |
| People
who think they know everything are annoying to those of
us who do |
| The
rich get richer and the poor get children |
| Drugs
cause amnesia, and other things I can't remember |
| Harrasing
me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health! |
| Marriage
is not like war: You sleep with the enemy |
| Don't
lead me to temptation... I can find it by myself |
| If
at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that
you ever tried |
| Save
water, drink beer |
| Don't
drink and drive. You might spill your beer |
| Everybody
makes mistakes, thats why they put erasers on pencils
|
| Health
nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital
dying of nothing |
| In
the event of an emergency landing why do the people in
the pamflet look so calm? |
| Two
wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a
left |
| You
can better lose a lover than love a loser |
| I'm
only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
|
| Be
nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
|
| In
the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
|
| Whoever
said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
|
| I
like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become
a Consultant |
| Mental
Health is overrated |
| Be
The Change You Wish To See |
| All
generalizations are false |
| A
clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind |
| This
isn't school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting |
| The
funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common
|
| Honesty
is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense |
| Next
week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already
|
| War
does not determine who is right... but who is left |
| Time
is what keeps things from happening all at once |
| Women/Men
who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition |
| What
happens if you get scared half to death... twice? |
| Smile,
it makes people wonder what you're up too.. |
| Sometimes
I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me
|
| Of
all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most |
| If
marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws |
| I
don't have to be careful, I've got a gun |
| Statistics
are used by people who have no proof |
| Divorce:
from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out
through his wallet |
| You'll
never get rid of a bad temper by losing it! |
| If
you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to
commit you |
| I
avoid temptation unless I can't resist it |
| I
love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for
hours |
| Booze
may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the
question |
| When
cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose? |
| Gravity
always wins |
| The
easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk
|
| There
are some that are wise and others that are otherwise |
| I'm
not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
|
| Buy
land, they have quit making it! |
| I'm
not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute
of it |
| Eat
healthy, exercise more, still die |
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