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In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamflet look so calm?
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
You can better lose a lover than love a loser
I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
In the land of the skunks he who has half a nose is king
Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop
I like to con and insult people, that's why I chose to become a Consultant
Mental Health is overrated
Be The Change You Wish To See
All generalizations are false
A clean dwelling place is the sign of a disturbed mind
This isn't school! This is Hell with flourecent lighting
The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is full already
War does not determine who is right... but who is left
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once
Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too..
Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws
I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun
Statistics are used by people who have no proof
Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet
You'll never get rid of a bad temper by losing it!
If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you
I avoid temptation unless I can't resist it
I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours
Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question
When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?
Gravity always wins
The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk
There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise
I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
Buy land, they have quit making it!
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it
Eat healthy, exercise more, still die
Politicians prefer unarmed peasants
Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end
When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!
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